I started my internship through My Child Organisation at the Children's home on February 1st. On my first day there I was greeted by a lot of children with smiles and enthusiasm. But amidst the happy chattering children one child caught my eye. She stood apart from that crowd not for anything exceptional but for emotions that showed on her face which was contradictory to the ones around. This put a damper on the excitement I had on this being the first day of my internship. I started to take an interest in her on the basis of curiosity. She appeared to be a very bored and uninterested child who had disruptive behaviour and the other children stayed away from her. When I asked the children about this, their response shocked me. It was her dictatorial behaviour and bullying attitude which kept them away. And like any human being I would start judging her for her actions. This as we know is against social work ethics and as a Social Work student, I needed to follow the principle of Non Judgemental attitude towards the people we serve. But in her case, I just couldn’t bring myself to look past this. I witnessed her using unparliamentary language, showing a bossy attitude with a loud and boisterous behaviour. She sometimes got physical with the other children. She portrayed herself to be someone not to be messed with. I have never seen a happy expression on her face. She never interacted nor looked me in the eye. Our conversations were limited to one-word greetings and nothing more than that.

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While given a chance to check out her records, my mental picture of her took a drastic turn. Behind the mask, all I could see was a girl neglected physically and emotionally by her family, abandoned by her own mother and left on the streets to fend for herself where she got herself entangled in the world of prostitution. Lost in this dark toxic world she was deprived of her chance to be a child. The harsh reality of adulthood was thrust upon her at that very tender age. She was locked away, bruised and battered emotionally and physically day in and day out where her cries went unheard. This scarred her for life leaving her with an incurable wound.Now that her days are numbered she wants to live her lost childhood by being rebellious to seek the attention that she never received while growing up. Setting my perception of her right, I slowly started interacting with her. Now I was able to decipher the reason behind this unemotional mask of hers. What she was doing was just a defence mechanism to portray herself as a strong child and not as someone vulnerable. Gradually I could see a good change in her behaviour. We started bonding over our common passion for dance and craft. I started to empathize with her on why she is the way she is. I started to accept her for who she was. I understood her need to hide her emotions as she has to face and see her harsh reality through others eyes. She masked her emotions to never let anyone see her true broken self. But now from a single word greeting to openly asking me for something as a sister, we have progressed from being strangers. Only by breaking through her hard exterior could I see a passionate young child. But someday I hope she removes this mask she wears and shows the world how beautiful her smile can be. A smile which would show people how beautiful she is on the inside. People of old weren’t wrong when they asked us not to judge a book by its cover and now I have experienced this first hand. I hope you see people for who they are on the inside and not judge them for how they look on the outside.

“I was a child,
But I never had my childhood. I was broken,
But never wanted to be seen.
I wanted to be strong, So I masked my emotions.”